Real World
by crazymiko
Summary: This a compainion songfic to chapter 18 of "Traitor to the Cause", and yes I do have permission to do this


Hi minna-san

04/24/2001 7:15:20 PM

Hi minna-san! It's me animeisgreat again with another songfic! *hears groaning* Awww come on this one isn't that bad. This one is a companion piece to chapter 18 of "Traitor to the Cause" by the Black Rose. Yes I do have permission to be doing this believe it or not, someone out there will let me, yes me do something! Anyway that aside onto the disclaimers.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. Big surprise there, huh? It belongs to its respective companies. I also do not own "Real World" by Matchbox 20. It belongs to guess who…Matchbox 20. All that aside enjoy the fic.

Author's Note: This is Heero's POV! Please review, suggestions, comments, questions, criticism, rants, death threats, and flames welcome. If you are going to flame me send it to: [Relena_Darlin_Peacecraft@gundamwing.net][1]

**Real world – Matchbox 20******

_I wonder what it's like to be the rainmaker_

_I wonder what it's like to know that I make the rain_

_I'd store it in boxes with little yellow tags on everyone_

_and you can come see them when I'm...done, when I'm done_

I watch the screen anxiously as I reflect on the war, everything that happened and how everything came to be as it is now. I'm not sure how I feel about everything that's been happening, I'm sad, angry, hurt, and something I can't quite place, I believe Quatre described it best as a "warm and fuzzy" feeling. It seems to surface whenever Relena shows she cares. I care for her so much, all her gestures of kindness make me feel like I haven't done enough for her. Every time I hear more bad news about her trial, a part of my heart cries out in pain for Relena. I hate the feeling of helplessness as I watch them decide her fate; that much I am certain about. I'm still confused about my other feelings, I'm angry that I can't help her, sad that this had to happen, and hurt that she wouldn't let me try to protect her by turning me in when I asked her to; at the same time I also…I searched for a word, I guess love fits best…love her for it. I just want to throw my head back and yell at the world, to cry out at the great injustice that is happening. I want to just sweep Relena in my arms and take her away to somewhere safe. I want to breakdown and cry. I just narrow my eyes; after years of practice my mask is almost flawless. I'll have to look into this later; there are more important things than my feelings now, like Relena. She gave up everything for us…for me. I hear Brian remind me about my test, I just glare at him as I tear my eyes off the screen and leave.

_I wonder what it's like to be a super hero_

_I wonder where I'd go if I could fly around downtown_

_from some other planet, I get this funky high on yellow sun_

_boy I bet my friends will all be...stunned, they're stunned_

Sitting in class I stare at my test, filling in the blanks quickly and automatically, none of this is new. My thoughts can't help but wander to Relena. I can't stop silently marveling at the fact that she cares enough to protect me and my friends even at the cost of her freedom. Looking at my finished test I let my mind wander again. The six protectors of peace fallen from grace, the dove falling to protect the five nameless ones, I never imagined that happening. Looking around the classroom, I wondered what everyone would think if they found out I was one of those protectors. I imagine they all would panic. Everyone now fears the Gundam pilots, Earth's new menace. It's interesting how quickly the roles can change, good is now evil, the light is now dark. The innocent white dove is now a traitorous black crow.

_ _

_Straight up, what did you hope to learn about here_

_if I were someone else, would this all fall apart_

_strange, where were you, when we started this gig,_

_I wish the real world, would just stop hassling me_

Exiting class, I continue to wonder what kind of cruel trick life is when the world turns its back on all those who saved it? Did it have such a short memory? Did it not remember its saviors? Didn't Earth used to be so kind to us? Once did it not welcome us with open arms? Did Earth not offer us refuge when the colonies turned their backs on us? Did it not understand the sacrifices we had made? Had it been in space so long that it had become indifferent to even its most loyal children?

_ _

_I wonder what it's like to be the head honcho_

_I wonder what I'd do if they all did just what I said_

_I'd shout out an order, I think we're out of this man get me some_

_boy don't make me wanna change my...tone, my tone_

If I had a say in anything, it never would have happened this way. Relena doesn't deserve this, she saved this God damned planet from itself and this is how it repays her. Hmm now I'm back on the gratitude issue, we gave up our childhood while Relena gave up the rest of hers and her future for Earth, the colonies…us. I cannot pretend to understand how the ESUN works and what they are trying to achieve by doing this.

_ _

_Straight up, what did you hope to learn about here_

_if I were someone else, would this all fall apart_

_strange, where were you, when we started this gig,_

_I wish the real world, would just stop hassling me_

I glare at the crowd of reporters, locusts all of them, looking for a story. I'm getting close to losing my temper. And then I decide on my next course of action after seeing that flash go off in my face. Inwardly I smirk – they're not going to get this story.Not only that, one station will be short at least a camera by the end of this. I crushed the camera as I continue to growl at the reporters as they fling questions at me. I'm tempted to break all of their necks right where they stand - it's not as if they're vital to the world, but I said I wouldn't kill anymore. How can they ask me such questions?I let Brian lead me away from the scene, at times I'm almost glad to have a… I guess I could call him a friend… friend like him, just trying to keep me out of trouble. It feels strange calling him a friend; I don't trust a lot of people. I guess he has now made my exceptionally short list of people to get past my barriers. Humph the way this is going he'll have his hands full, I do not intend to take this sitting down.

_ _

_Please don't change, please don't break_

_the only thing that seems to work at all is you_

_please don't change, at all from me_

_to you, and you to me_

I stare at Relena's image on the TV as I mentally wish for her to be strong and not give them the satisfaction of breaking down. I could feel a sense of longing tug at my heart, I want to be there by her side, I want to be able to lean down and whisper that everything would be alright as she walks into the courthouse. My head snaps up as I hear Mr. Holden's question. I shoot him one of my fiercest glares as I answer mechanically. It wasn't supposed to be like this, she deserves better.

_ _

_Straight up, what did you hope to learn about here_

_if I were someone else, would this all fall apart_

_strange, where were you, when we started this gig,_

_I wish the real world, would just stop hassling me_

Turning back to the TV screen I whispered softly so only I could hear, "Why won't the world just leave us alone?"

   [1]: mailto:Relena_Darlin_Peacecraft@gundamwing.net



End file.
